Hey friends, I wanted to post a paper written by my younger brother, Cazzie Olko this spring, right before graduating his senior year of high school. He has always been thought of as my "baby" brother. He was born when I was twelve years old. He is and has been not such a baby anymore. Not only is he much taller than me but I look up to him in so many ways. The paper he wrote below brought tears to my eyes and has inspired me in so many ways to the importance of taking time each day to just breathe, and to be in the moment, and to focus on this moment only and not the past or the future. All we have is right now. Thank you brother for your wisdom, strength and courage. I am grateful to have you in my life. ** If you are new here, welcome! If you want to start at the beginning feel free : The Journey: The Beginning, if you don't thats cool too, no worries. Read if you like, close if you don't like! I love you all!
Time
to Kill
written by Cazzie Olko
On
the first night of the Environmental Stats trip to West Virginia we
had the opportunity to do a solo in the woods. It wasn’t so much an
opportunity but more of “your getting thrown into the woods at dusk
with a journal, so sit and write.” On the bus ride up I was very
hesitant. I have a large imagination that gets frightened very
easily, and I greatly dislike being alone. It was dusk when we left
the parking lot and began to hike the trail. Mr. Johnson and Mr.
O’Donnell dispersed us throughout the woods to sit by ourselves for
an hour. I sat down onto a bed of moss, but that was
uncomfortable so I got up and moved to a new spot that gave me a tree
to lean up against. My first thoughts were filled with
marshmallows and escape plans. My second thoughts were about
the crazy West Virginian moonshiners that were going to kidnap, maim,
and leave me for the bears. Eventually I realized that this probably
wasn’t going to happen, and I began to settle into the night.
As
the daylight dwindled, the environment flooded my senses. The moss
felt like a soft bed, the air smelled like an ancient wooded forest,
and the quiet rustle of night animals quickly came alive. The woods
contained a mystical air, and I suddenly became aware of the
timelessness of the area. I stopped writing and began to think deeply
about all aspects of my existence. Why am I living? What is my
future?, How will I die? All those deep, unanswerable
questions. The solo turned from a dreaded experience into a cherished
moment.
When
I look back onto my senior year, there have been a couple of similar
meditative interludes. This past February I had a gig in Richmond and
ended up driving there all alone. As I drove I began to enjoy
this downtime for myself. I was able to listen to an entire Sly and
Family Stone album and think about college, career, getting married,
friends, and family. This drive led me to think about questions that
I for so long had put off. Another interlude was when I
attempted to do my AP Euro homework on a beautiful Saturday. I
started to become so fed-up and frustrated; the French revolution
seemed so pointless and was holding me back from exploring something
that really interested me. So I put it down, grabbed my guitar, and
went out on my porch and played, “Just Another Day the Lord Has
Sent Me” by Sam Cooke. It quickly morphed into a long -winded jam
with the music and outside energy leading the way. These three
interludes brought me to the realization that if we make time for
quiet meditation filled with openness, we would realize that it
wasn’t wasted time but a time to delve deep into our personal being
and help enrich ourselves.
Spending
time by oneself is common throughout many different religions. In Judaism there are instances of the prophets like Moses going off
to be alone in the presence of God. The Buddha was awakened
through meditation under a tree. Daoist hermits live to very old ages
because of meditation and the search for the “way." These three
religions, Judaism, Buddhism and Taoism are fundamentally different, but they all advocate the
importance of meditative prayer. In the gospels Jesus was
driven alone into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit for 40 days
and nights and was tempted by the Devil. He took a retreat, a retreat
away from his disciples, away from food, and away from any worldly
connection. Jesus could have spent these days preaching the good
news, but he knew he needed to face the Devil because it strengthened
his teachings and finalized his mission on the earth. But obviously
none of us are Jesus or Buddha so how exactly are we supposed to find
time to meditate?
I
know in my life I am very busy. On one regular day I go to
school, have some after-school activity, then have to go home and do
my homework. In this schedule there is not a lot of time to try and
be Jesus or Buddha. Over the last year, however, I found ways to
integrate meditative time into my life. One way is a weekly yoga
class that forced me to meditate because that’s what Yoga is. As
the Bhagavad Gita says “abiding joy comes to those who still the
mind.” Secondly, I found that sometimes it does me better to not
overload on the homework night after night. Instead I use my time
practicing an instrument, doing yoga, or just sitting in my woods
watching the sun go down. Now I am not encouraging you to not do
homework because obviously it is a crucial part of getting an
education. I am more telling you to realize that it will do you more
good, when getting overwhelmed with work, to put it away for awhile
and refresh yourself spending time meditating. The work will get done
eventually. The last piece of advice I have to offer is that there
are a countless number of weekends and not everyone has to be spent
going out with friends. It gets tiring. This year, some Friday
or Saturday nights, I would just chill out and have a night for
myself. I found time to waste and grasped onto the opportunity and I
deeply encourage everyone to do the same.
Now
maybe you are seeing this sermon as a defense of senioritis, but I
see it more as showing that wasted time can actually be time well
spent. Yes, maybe I didn’t excel at homework this year, but I did
manage to become more confident in myself. I took time to clear my
mind of stress and figure out whom I am. To the 8th graders
entering high school: don’t enter high school already stressed
about college and homework. Instead think of high school as a
way find out who you really are. To the seniors: College is going to
be full of struggles and stress but don’t let that rule our lives.
Instead take time for yourself to meditate in anyway that fits you.
If that means hiking, running, sitting still, or working out, so be
it. Just take these meditative interludes and cherish them. Let your
mind be free of any worries. Delve deep into your being and ask the
unanswerable questions, and I promise that you will come out
refreshed and ready to live out the rest of your life.
