Hello my dear friends, I know it has been a while since I posted an update in this blog. The past couple months have been an intense part of my voyage. However I am truly starting to notice that intensity and challenge in my life are bringing me into the beauty of true self-reflection and light. If you are new to reading my blog, welcome!! I recommend you start by clicking on my 2013 November post (My Journey: The Beginning) and go from there. If you have already been following my posts thank you for waiting, even though I have not posted in a while and have been exploring, unfolding, and peeling away challenging aspects of myself that have arisen, I have felt your love energy and support throughout the journey, and for that I am grateful.
~ Swami Satchidananda
Reading this card and feeling its presence helped me suddenly take a step back away from myself to realize the massive amounts of gasoline I had been pouring onto my fire. It was time to start pouring water and love onto my fire and letting it melt away instead of creating bigger flames within my life. Below I have included a bit from my journal that is one of the aspects that has made me consciously aware of the power that our mind has over our body. And since our mind will always remain, instead of letting it pour gasoline onto our fires, how about learning how to create water of love to help guide our soul and wash away our troubles.
A couple weeks ago, my friend Lana opened the doorway a second time for me to checking out the Benjamin Center: Cancer Support Community. The first time she opened this door I was not keen to the idea at the time and this time I was, and what an amazing support community that came into my life exactly at the right time!! Its incredible how when we are ready to open the door, it will open. There are many classes and lectures being offered there; also I have been assigned to a once a week support group as well as individual counseling. One word and visualization that I created during my one on one counseling was SELF-REFLECTION as well as fear. I have found that part of this journey I am on is a continuous concept of having to look at myself in the mirror, which I have done in the past, but the difference I feel this time is, I cannot put the mirror down, I must face the fear that I see before me and release it.
I have not been to a church like this in a long long time. The sermon that day at church was specifically about fear. I felt in this moment that there was something out there, that was listening to me and perhaps I have spent a lot of time not wanting to or knowing how to ask for help. The bible verse Matthew 7:7 suddenly became clear to me "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." I had been feeling stuck in a stage of "I can't and don't know what to do." I kept saying this to my mother, and I will never forget her response one day which is similar to the bible verse; she said to me, "instead of saying 'I can't' I want you to ask 'How?'" From this moment forward thanks to my mother and the universe for helping, I am learning to to ask for help as well as shifting my I cant's to How?
My father met me down there on Easter Sunday and the appointment with Perlmutter was the next day. I decided to stay an extra few days to visit a dear friend, Kate, who lived nearby in Fort Myers as well as end my trip with Danielle DiVittorio, the amazing friend and woman who went above and beyond to start the GoFundMe website, which raised an incredible amount of money without me even knowing, which has truly helped me on the beginning of this journey. Dr. Perlmutter's visit was a very expensive yet an extensive and helpful session which gave me beautiful insight onto my path and assistance with my healing direction and decisions. Perlmutter's visit was incredible, but what has resinated within my soul the most from this trip to Florida was spending Easter with my father, as we explored the beauty of Florida as well as enjoyed fully the beauty of each other. I am gifted and grateful to have an incredible man in my life, who is my father, an amazing healer, and a true friend! Its amazing how LOVE, respect and our family can be the most incredible medicine our body takes in, and the extra spoonful of medicine on top was the beauty of nature that florida offered!